BROKEN DREAMS AND THE POWER OF FOCUS
Sometimes, letting go of an old dream honors your true self.
It's a way of recognizing what you really desire, not what you think you SHOULD
have or SHOULD do.
PAIN OR PLEASURE
I held onto my dream for a long time because it reflected my core value of learning and my core need for respect. Once I learned how to respect myself and satisfy my love of learning in other ways, I felt relieved and set free when I released my dream of getting a Ph.D.
PAIN OR PLEASURE
I held onto my dream for a long time because it reflected my core value of learning and my core need for respect. Once I learned how to respect myself and satisfy my love of learning in other ways, I felt relieved and set free when I released my dream of getting a Ph.D.
Releasing a dream can be emotionally painful. I've watched as
others wrestle with letting a broken dream go. I experienced great pain when I
accepted that reconciliation for my marriage was not going to happen. I had to
let go of my dream of having an intact family, unmarred by divorce. The idea of
not being able to jointly share the joys of raising a family was gut-wrenching.
I clung to this dream while I fought to save my marriage. It
became the constant focus of my prayers and conversations with God. I did a lot
of pleading and begging for divine intervention. I even took to reminding God
how much He loves families and giving Him reasons why my family deserved
restoration. I even tried bargaining with God by promising to give Him the full
glory if He would step in with a miracle.
I fought for my dream for five years, changing what only I
could change. Someone recently told me that five represents grace. It was a
beautiful reminder of how God's grace was with me through a difficult
transition.
I believe that God works all things together for good and
for His purposes. However, my focus on what was not happening was sabotaging
the good things God has in store for my family and me.
HEAVENLY POKE
A few days ago, while I was sitting on an extremely isolated
beach enjoying the solitude, a multi-generational family of 15 arrived for an
early morning photo shoot. Grandparents, grandbabies, grandkids, parents,
uncles and aunts planted themselves directly in front of me.
My initial thought was "Really? Here is an entire empty
beach, but what I want the most and can’t have has camped out in front of me.
Watching their joy of being together triggered regret, disappointment and
sadness.
POWER OF FOCUS
I forced myself to look away to the ocean beyond where I was
instantly delighted to see a "family" of dolphin parading by in front
of me. I watched them play and leap as they traveled through life together.
In that moment, I knew that God wanted me to zoom out from
my narrow vision of family to the wider, expansive and joyful future He has for
me. I trust that God loves families and if I am willing to partner with Him and
change my focus, He will fulfill my dream of doing life together with my family
in ways only He can imagine. His vision and dreams are far better than mine.
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