BROKEN DREAMS AND THE POWER OF FOCUS


"What dreams have you let go?" is a question for not just my clients, but for all of us.
Sometimes, letting go of an old dream honors your true self. It's a way of recognizing what you really desire, not what you think you SHOULD have or SHOULD do.

PAIN OR PLEASURE


I held onto my dream for a long time because it reflected my core value of learning and my core need for respect. Once I learned how to respect myself and satisfy my love of learning in other ways, I felt relieved and set free when I released my dream of getting a Ph.D.

Releasing a dream can be emotionally painful. I've watched as others wrestle with letting a broken dream go. I experienced great pain when I accepted that reconciliation for my marriage was not going to happen. I had to let go of my dream of having an intact family, unmarred by divorce. The idea of not being able to jointly share the joys of raising a family was gut-wrenching.

I clung to this dream while I fought to save my marriage. It became the constant focus of my prayers and conversations with God. I did a lot of pleading and begging for divine intervention. I even took to reminding God how much He loves families and giving Him reasons why my family deserved restoration. I even tried bargaining with God by promising to give Him the full glory if He would step in with a miracle.

I fought for my dream for five years, changing what only I could change. Someone recently told me that five represents grace. It was a beautiful reminder of how God's grace was with me through a difficult transition.

I believe that God works all things together for good and for His purposes. However, my focus on what was not happening was sabotaging the good things God has in store for my family and me.

HEAVENLY POKE

A few days ago, while I was sitting on an extremely isolated beach enjoying the solitude, a multi-generational family of 15 arrived for an early morning photo shoot. Grandparents, grandbabies, grandkids, parents, uncles and aunts planted themselves directly in front of me.

My initial thought was "Really? Here is an entire empty beach, but what I want the most and can’t have has camped out in front of me. Watching their joy of being together triggered regret, disappointment and sadness.


POWER OF FOCUS

I forced myself to look away to the ocean beyond where I was instantly delighted to see a "family" of dolphin parading by in front of me. I watched them play and leap as they traveled through life together.

In that moment, I knew that God wanted me to zoom out from my narrow vision of family to the wider, expansive and joyful future He has for me. I trust that God loves families and if I am willing to partner with Him and change my focus, He will fulfill my dream of doing life together with my family in ways only He can imagine. His vision and dreams are far better than mine.



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